David Muir, Unveiled

David Muir, the brooding sphinx of ABC News, finally revealed himself on Tuesday while moderating the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. The 50-year-old host of "World News Tonight with David Muir" is the highest-rated media personality across all networks. The reasonably attractive (by journalist standards) and physically fit (ditto) anchor gets paid an annual salary believed to be in the eight figures to read news off a teleprompter every weeknight to millions of lonely seniors and nursing home patients who fell asleep hours earlier.

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