Democrats Keep Falling for Political Fantasies. When Will They Learn?

Will Democrats ever learn to stop swooning?

I refer, as you may have guessed, to the case of Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner and the rinse-wash-repeat pattern that has become all too familiar for the party in the digital age.

It goes something like this: Political outsider or mostly new name mounts statewide campaign with online video that leans heavily on compelling biography or powerful oratory, out-of-state liberal hobbyists quickly fall in love and fork over money, and journalists rush to profile the latest heartthrob before inevitable disappointment when the candidate loses or, well, becomes John Fetterman.

Platner is the latest example. A military veteran turned oysterman who looked the hirsute part, the Mainer’s populist candidacy seemed to be an immaculate conception. The contributions piled up, the profiles were published and then suddenly there was a disruption to the formula. Or maybe it was more of an acceleration.

Once his Democratic rival, Maine Gov. Janet Mills, entered the race, Platner was hit with a nor’easter of oppo research that had the added value of being his own damning words. Rationalizing political violence, calling himself a “communist,” referring to all police as “bastards” and calling himself an “antifa supersoldier,” Platner’s paper trail was the stuff of Senator Susan Collins’s dreams. And that was before Platner tried to get ahead of the next hit by revealing the apparent Nazi tattoo on his naked torso.

There is more to come, I'm told by sources very familiar with the Platner opposition file who spoke on the condition of anonymity. And some of it will be even more localized, which will make for ready-made targeted mail and digital ads from his opponent

I’ve learned, for example, that in 2020, Platner went online and called the Hancock County Sheriff’s Office a den of “overweight pansies” and flatly said: “cops are opportunistic cowards.”

You can guess how many Mainers in and around Hancock County, a rural region outside its summer resort enclaves, are related to or friends with law enforcement officers there.

Platner did not respond to a request for a comment.

This won’t slow Platner’s apologists.

The left-wingers so enamored with Platner’s politics, apparently forgetting the lessons of Fetterman, have rushed to offer him the sort of grace they’d never bestow on a more moderate candidate, let alone a Republican.

However, and this is crucial for Democrats to face their addiction, Platner just happened to be a lefty.

This trend isn’t limited to one faction. There’s a reason why Bill Clinton likes to say, “Republicans fall in line, Democrats fall in love.”

I give you Amy McGrath, Stacey Abrams, Beto O’Rourke, and the latest Texan posing for a glossy photo spread somewhere near a Lone Star flag, James Talarico. None are the beau ideal of a Bernie Sanders candidate.

And, while I’m at it, I have no brief for the equally predictable Chuck Schumer approach to recruitment. Or, as the pejorative goes, the “consultant class” strategy. This would be: find a current or former governor or other prominent statewide official who’s well-known and can raise money, no matter if they’re AARP-eligible or have little chance to win a federal race.

This strategy can work — there’s no lack of one-time Democratic governors in the ranks of today’s Senate — but it can also be a dud in red-leaning states. I give you Ted Strickland, Evan Bayh, Steve Bullock, Phil Bredesen and could go on.

However, there’s a reason besides their preexisting fundraising lists why Schumer and his lieutenants prefer those who’ve run statewide and even, horror of horrors, “career politicians.” It’s because such candidates have been vetted and, if it exists, the oppo file on their youthful (or middle-aged) indiscretions has likely already been emptied.

I can hear the shrieking now: D.C. bosses in smoke-filled rooms picking candidates is why Democrats keep losing, the Age of Trump demands outsiders!

But the pure democracy of candidate crowdsourcing is hardly superior to kingmaking when it comes to winning elections, as recent events illustrate: Platner would go into the general election with more baggage than the mid-coast has buoys.

And, this is where we get close to the bone: It’s not as though the outsider candidates are emerging from thin air — who do you think is crafting those viral videos? If you think it’s oystermen in their spare time or Amy McGrath’s former flight crew and not another set of consultants, I’ve got a lobster roll for under $10 to sell you (and if you think a former Blackwater employee who tended bar at the Tune Inn and attended George Washington University is a total outsider, I’ve got a $5 one to sell you).

Now, stand by for the to-be-sure paragraph, Collins could be so endangered that she loses to Mills or Platner. The eagerness of Democrats to oust her and lack of enthusiasm from MAGA Republicans who stay home without a presidential race on the ballot may prove too much for the five-term incumbent.

Is it too much to ask, though, for Democrats to be more clear-eyed about winning elections? The point isn’t to find a savior, it’s to get closer to 51 votes in the United States Senate. Act like discerning shoppers, not fanboys.

This is, I recognize, hard to tell a party forever looking for its next JFK, or its next Obama, and that understandably craves inspiration in challenging times.

But politicians are fallible by nature. And if you don’t believe me, just think about how neat you thought Fetterman’s tats-and-hoodie schtick was once upon a time. Not so protective of him anymore, are you?

And I’ll go one further with another heartthrob candidate, this one on the ballot next month: New York mayoral frontrunner and democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani.

No, he’s unlikely to reinvent himself à la Fetterman. Yet I think Mamdani’s ambition, and New York state’s power over the city, will lead him to govern as a pragmatist. In fact, I’d predict he’s more likely to retain Jessica Tisch as police commissioner and cut half-a-loaf deals with Albany than he is to turn The Dakota into a $700 a month per-unit collective and send Bill Ackman fleeing to Boca.

This may surprise New York’s swells and depress his hipper-than-thou true believers, but it would be totally in keeping with how politics has long been practiced.

Which reminds me: No snickering at the other guys from you, Republicans — you’ve spent most of a decade enabling a personality cult.

And that leaves Democrats hungry, desperate really, for salvation. A new and better politics led by new and better people. But you can’t govern if you don’t win.