Great News for Humanity: Depressed Liberals Are Increasingly Suicidal Due to 'Climate Anxiety,' Study Finds

Depressed liberals are increasingly at risk of suicide due to so-called climate change, according to a group of European and French-Canadian scientists. The alleged findings, while morbid, could signal a bright future for the human race. A world with fewer annoying people would make life more tolerable for the rest of us. The species would grow more resilient, and the planet might also (somewhat ironically) benefit from the decline in population, assuming it isn't a hoax.

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