Handicapping the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardons

<![CDATA[It was reporterd in Axios last week that Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer desperately tried to keep his conference together and preserve the effects of the shutdown through the Thanksgiving holiday. That's right, the flight cancellations and delays, the staffing shortages in air traffic control making the skies a little less safe, people in real need dependent upon food assistance programs continuing to go hungry, and the men and women in uniform, and their families, not getting paid for a full two months. That's what the Democratic leader wanted to gift the country next week while still referring to the chaos as Trump's shutdown. Thankfully, eight Democrats did cave, along with six more in the House, and voila, the government reopened with a fortnight to spare before the four-day weekend. Now that we can shift into more normal debris, like the Epstein files, blowing up drug boats, and what Tucker Carlson or anyone sharing partial DNA with him does, I'm all for lightening the mood. The annual event of pardoning a turkey or pair of turkeys at the White House has become an official event since George Herbert Walker Bush first spared the axe to an anonymous bird residing in an undisclosed location. That tradition continued for all of Bush the Elder's four-year term. Naturally, with any goverment program, even one that's silly, it expanded over time. By 1999, in President Bill Clinton's outer years, the birds were officially recognized. First, it was Harry the Turkey, followed in his final year of office by clemency for Jerry the Turkey. President George W. Bush ushered in the two turkey pardon era in 2001, just a couple months after the horrific 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, D.C. Liberty and Freedom were the appropriately named turkeys that survived the dining room table that year. 14 more birds would go free during Bush's time in office. The only notable events during President Obama's term were passing Obamacare, setting the stage for bankrupting the healthcare system and bringing us full circle to Chuck Schumer's shutdown stunt he so desired to continue through your holiday. But in the turkey pardoning department, 2015's Honest and Abe were the standout birds given their freedom papers by Obama, and if you go all the way back to 1863, that's the first time any American president spared the life of a bird on Thanksgiving. Historic America has a wonderul site that has a page devoted to the history of presidential turkey pardons. After being beseeched by Tad, who had taken a liking to a bird gifted to the Lincolns for the upcoming Thanksgiving Day dinner, Abe decided to spare its life. Tad had already named the turkey Jack, taught it to follow him around the White House, and had made him his pet. Abe didn't have the heart to eat him.Finally, during the Joe Biden regency, thankfully lasting only four years, staff there couldn't even do this ritual ceremony right without screwing it up. In 2022, Biden the Feeble pardoned Chocolate and Chip. Two years later, obviously acting as though they had just met, Biden again pardoned Chocolate and Chip. Or maybe it was autopen that pardoned the same birds twice. One can never fully know what went on during that fog of American leadership.As for me, I find the whole exercise pointless and silly. Turkeys have three purposes - eat, reproduce, be delicious. It's always around this time of year that the PETA folks show up and demand we consume tofurkey instead. PETA-UK tweeted five times in all caps, because apparently the messaging the first time didn't sink in to the desired effect. ]]>