Mainstream Pundits Lavish Praise on Dick Cheney After Spending 20 Years Shrieking About How He Was Literally Darth Vader

The same mainstream media titans who spent the better part of two decades denouncing Dick Cheney as a treasonous war criminal, coup-plotter, cyborg demon, literally Darth Vader, and the bastard offspring of Adolf Hitler and Satan himself, found spiritual clarity on Thursday during the former vice president's funeral. As mourners gathered to celebrate the beloved neocon's life on Earth and ascension into the heavenly kingdom, Cheney's former critics offered fawning praise for his "loyalty," "rectitude," and "mature judgment" in the face of adversity.

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