Not evil, just incompetent

As expected, Donald Trump's first 100 days in office have been an unprecedented success. The border is closed, markets are shaking out the last remnants of the Biden slump, and Rosie O'Donnell moved to Ireland. The arc of global trade policy is bending firmly in the direction of justice. This week we learned that Trump has personally saved 258 million lives through his efforts to crack down on fentanyl trafficking, according to Attorney General Pam Bondi. On Wednesday, the president scored a momentous victory for hardworking American families by resolving to end the scourge of spoiled little girls who torture their parents with incessant demands for more stuff. "Well, maybe the children will have 2 dolls instead of 30 dolls," Trump told a group of childless liberal reporters at the White House. Their feeble minds couldn't possibly understand this president's limitless empathy or his laudable disdain for overconsumption. They think we should just give all our money to communists, or worse, the filthy Canadians. Never!

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